Issues

There are several issues relating to email. Some of them are similar to Instant Messaging - IM, IRC, AIM etc, and would probably be handled in a similar way. Others seem to be more unique to email.

Although this list is far from exhaustive, it covers the major issues that parents, and users in general, face.  These issues face all users, not just children or people with "problems".

• Spam Another name for this is "Unsolicited Commercial Email" (UCE). The most obvious issue with spam is that the content is often hair-raisingly violent and / or pornographic. But, that's not the only issue. Much spam is simply fraudulent. And, the two issues are not mutually exclusive. These issues are often so frustrating and upsetting that they tend to cast the simple overload of in-boxes by advertising into the shade. But, it is a real issue. It's a time waster and makes it hard to get at the real, important content of your in-box.

• Other inappropriate content Spammers are not the only ones who can dump all sorts of inappropriate content into your in-box. Friends may pass on all sorts of Lashon Hora (and even Motzi Shem Ra). Sometimes the issue is urban legends and scare lore. That doesn't sound too bad, until you realize that, at best this can cause unnecessary fright and tension, and at worst cause people to waste time and money or take actions that are not a good idea.  Then there are the emails that are less then tznius.  Sometimes they come from friends or acquaintances.  If you are using one of the free on-line email services, the email pickup up site may be full of this kind of thing as well.

• Communication with undesirable people This, of course, is not unique to email (and IM). However, the electronic means of communications do make it a bit easier communicate with people who are less than desirable. As long as communications are completely electronic, physical safety is not that much of an issue - although it pays to remember that if your child has given someone his address and schedule, you could have a very real problem. In any case, such relationships rarely stay at a purely email level. Besides, Such relationships expose your child to, and feed, attitudes, hashkafos and materials that are unhealthy and inappropriate. The relationship could be unhealthy in other ways as well.

What can be done

• Be careful to whom you give your email address Most pop-ups and other advertisers on the web will flood you with spam if you give them an email address. Most sites that provide prizes for "free" ask for your email address - primarily to sell it, not to be able to give you your prize. Even some legitimate vendors will sell your email address.

• Do not respond to spam In many (actually most) cases, any response is a mistake. Not only will it not get you off the spammer's list, it will almost certainly mean that your address will get even more spam, because your address has been confirmed as "live" making it more valuable, and more likely to be sold and resold. If you are familiar with the vendor, and know that they are really reputable, you might have a chance, but otherwise, just delete it.

• Get a spam filter No filter is perfect, but good ones can cut down on the amount of spam you see dramatically.  Cost is not always a good determinant of quality. 

• "Train" your spam filter Even the best spam filter needs some work. And, not just when you get it. Some filters actually do very well right "out of the box". The problem is that the spammers and fraudsters develop new techniques to get around the filters. The best filters allow you to "teach" them about these new techniques. It takes some effort, but the results are generally well worth it.

• Set your email client to not show images Most email clients will let you turn off images, and then show the images on a specific email, as you need them. By doing this, you cut down on the issues with really inappropriate email. It still is not great to get an email with text that is really bad, but with pictures it's even worse.

• Check email headers before you open mail Most email clients will allow you to delete emails without opening them. Generally, you can tell pretty quickly what is spam from the header and sender address, even if your spam filter misses it. Delete this before you open email.

• Choose an email vendor that filters Some of the email vendors (Gmail, Yahoo, etc.) actually filter a lot of spam, and they are surprisingly effective.

• Use shared email accounts If several children are using the same email account, the likelihood of an illicit correspondence (at least at home) goes down.

• Give an occasional look at your child's email Pay attention to what is there, as well as what is not there. This is not always a good idea though - for one thing, the Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershon generally applies unless you have specific concerns. (In other words, it pays to find out the halachik parameters.) Also, adolescents and teens need privacy, more acutely than children. Besides, it's hard to teach a child the importance of privacy for themselves, and the need to respect the privacy of others, if we don't model that behavior. Can other concerns over-ride these issues? Yes, otherwise it wouldn't be on this list. But, do handle this one with kid gloves.