When most people think and speak about the dangers of the internet, they focus primarily on what inappropriate things the children may see.  They usually also worry about who their children will get involved with. These are obviously major issues, and no one should minimize them.  However, there are other issues as well. Far too many people don't think about these other types of exposure, and the risks that they may be taking. None of these risks is unique to the internet, but it is worthwhile to be aware and careful.

When discussing this with children and teens, there are two ways to aproch this, depending on the circumstances. You can, of course, focus on the tznius and torah issues involved here. But, you may want to focus on the practical issues at hand as well. Realize that everything I discuss on this page is supported by preofessionals for whome the internet is a major part of what they do and people who are strong advocates for the internet and for expanding access for everyone. In other words, not people who are "just anti internet" - quite the reverse!

The risks are real, but there are ways to deal with them.  The key is knowledge and education.

Problem Summary

 If you look at the solutions, a lot has to do with extending the same principles we use in all other aspects of life.  What that means is that getting into good habits on the internet can help a person in other areas, if he extends those habits.  On the other hand, if you have developed good habits in other areas, you will have a much easier time doing the same on the internet.

Discussion

Inaccurate Information

Too often, people find some information on the Internet, and don't evaluate it properly.  This is not a problem unique to the internet, but sometimes people seem to ascribe some sort of infallibility to the internet.  I've seen this attitude towards newspapers, or anything printed for that matter. Just as not everything that the newspapers print is accurate, and just as there are many stories and claimes published in books and magazines, that are inaccurate and false, there are many things on the internet that are inaccurate and false. There are all sorts of issues - everything from mis-information about Yiddishkeit, to dangerous maedical statements etc.  It is extremely important evaluate every information source you find, and what is said by these sources. If you give a look at How reliable IS it, anyway and 4 Keys to "Internet Proofing" Your Chidren you will see some more information about how to evaluate information and the kinds of skills that can help your children evaluate information properly.

Identity Theft

Identity theft is when someone steals information about you that enables them to make purchases in your name (although you will obviously never see the goods) and for which you could be held liable for.  The truth of the matter is that, activity on the internet is not the most likely way to expose yourself. However, it always pays to be careful.  Never use your Social Security number (or part of it) as a password, limit the amount of information you provide to any site, and, unless you are very, very confident of the site you are at, don't have them keep a record of your credit card information.  In fact, even I deal with vendors I trust, and who have a good track record, I don't allow them to keep that information.  For the slight extra work, I am making my information that much more secure, because it is one less place that theives can steal the information from. One thing to be extremely careful of is "phishing". These are email designed to "fish" for information that can be used to defraud you in some way or other. Be very wary of any email that asks you to respond with any sort of personally identifiable information or information such as bank accounts, etc. The same thing is true of emails that ask you to click on a link and put in such information. No matter what they claim, do not do it! For one thing it's the rare business that will contact you this way about serious issues regarding your account, etc. and, government agencies currently dfinitely do not do this. And, even in the rare case where the email is legitimate, you can always go to the vendor site directly, or call the company, rather than clicking on a link. Yes, its a bit more effort, but given how easy it is to make an email look just like a legitimate sender, and the negative consequences of one mistake, it's a small thing to do.

Damaging Information

Always keep in mind that once something is posted, it is not really in your control anymore. Some types of postings give you more control than others, but nothing is 100% safe. If someting is really, realy sensitive or totally confidential, you are better off not posting it anywhere on the internet, because there is always a possibility that someone with legitimate access might mis-use it down the line. The same is true if the item could really damage you if it came out. A young person posting things about iresponsible things he has done may find it coming up later, and causing problems.  More and more employers have been known to check places like Facebook and MySpace, and to use Google. I've heard stories of bochurim who got into serious trouble because of what they posted on-line.  I would not be surprised if many Shadchanim and parents would not start checking on line. If they are not doing it yet, it's just a matter of time - even in the most internet averse circles.

It is not entirely possible to protect yourself. But, you will prevent the vast majority of problems if you think twice and three times before posting anything about yourself. However, if you send an email with confidential information to someone, you cannot guarantee that the other person won't make a mistake. So, think about what you  put into email, as well. And, even if don't post or email something yourself, the "grapevine" is as effecive on line as it is in the rest of the world. But, that is not a good reason to put yourself in a bad light yourself. So, think about whether you would want to see whatever you are posting on the front page of the major papers.

I am not advocating paranoia. I am advocating common sense. A good rule of thumb I recently saw articulated by a technology advisor I know is "I don't post anything I would nto want to have to explain to my mother." If youa re having a conversation with your own teen aged children, you might want to modify that to "granparents" (or respected Rosh Yeshiva, teacher or mentor.) But, the idea makes sense.

Exposure to those who would harm you

If someone really, really wants to harm you, then even if you have never done anything on the internet, they can usually find enough information to do so. However, the more information you post about yourself, the easier you make it for someone like that. If you are involved in anything the least bit controversial, post as little personal information about yourself and your family as possible. If the information is in any way sensitive, make sure that you verify that the person you are dealing with is who he says he is.

There is also another issue that people sometimes overlook. Certain types of predators look on the internet to find victims. They look for people who fit their profile as a "desireable" victim. These types range from scam artists to those who prey on children in the worst ways, and everything in between. Think carefully before posting pictures, especially of your children, and how and where you post information that might make you seem "desireable" to such predators.

False information about you

This stems from either mistakes that people make or malice. In either case, your ability to prevent this is largely limited to behaving in such a way that people cannot honestly misunderstand, and that people would not want to harm you, although sometimes you can get damaging or flase information about you removed from more reputable sites. Of course, that is easier said than done, and in some cases, it is not even possible. One thing that is helpful to combat the problem, though, is to regularly do internet searches of your name (any any variants of the spelling that people are likely to use). This way you will know what is out there about you, and you may even be able to get some of it corrected.