YOU are  "The Ultimate Filter".  But, how do make it actually happen?  What things can you do to make yourself effective?

• Be present  If you are around, your child won't be able to go where you don't want him to.  But, being present doesn't mean "somewhere around, but really out of the picture".  It means either being in the same room, close enough to see the screen and what's happening, or at least in and out of the room and close up, very frequently.

• Look at the bottom of the screen   It's quite easy to click on the corner of a browser window, or the window of any program for that matter, to make it effectively disappear.  But, there is generally a bar on the bottom (or side) of the screen that shows what programs are open.  So, you can quickly see what programs are running.  If your computer is differently set up, learn where the indicator for running programs is.

• Learn to be comfortable with the mouse.  In many programs you can really do quite a bit without the mouse.  However, practically speaking, minimizing, maximizing and restoring programs requires (Minimize - make it shrink out of the way, maximize - make it fill the screen, restore - go back to where it was) requires a mouse.   The same is true for moving from program to program.  Being able to walk over to the computer someone is using and just looking at what is actually going on, rather than just the pretty desktop background, gives you a better ability to really monitor what's happening.

• Ask questions  Talk to your children about what they are doing ask them what they are doing, why, what the advantages and disadvantages are, and what alternatives they know of.  You'll start to get a good picture of what they do on the computer, how they see things and what they know.  You might even learn something.  And, it's also much harder to keep up a deception, if your child is tempted to do so, with this level of conversation.

• Educate yourself about the technology - independently of your child.  It's very important that you understand a reasonable amount about the technology you and your child are using.  It's certainly ok to ask your child about what she is using, as well as what she sees as the benefits and problems.  But, you need to make sure that you know enough to understand what she is saying.  You also want to make sure you know enough to spot someone who is not being quite level; if your child knows you'll see through a smokescreen, the temptation to put one up tends to disappear.  Make sure that you have an independent source of information, so you can check out whatever you have been told.  Although it's ok not to be as tech savvy as your child(ren) you don't want to appear naive or hopelessly out of touch.  And, again, if a child is tempted to tell you something inaccurate, the temptation recedes when she knows that you are likely to find out about it.

• Educate yourself on the real risks and benefits of the internet -  See Internet Dangers and Benefits,  Real Life Effects, and Specific Problems and Solutions for starters.  The main point is to really understand the issues without getting into hyperbole.  It makes for more effective communications, and it also makes it easier to figure out what's going on and how hard you should try to change something.  Picking your battles is always important, and you can only do that wisely if you understand the issues.