Computer based filtering is not terribly effective as an independent means to keeping children safe.

So what is the "ultimate" filter?

YOU!

It sounds simplistic, but it'sfundamentally true. Real, effective filtering needs human judgment. And, your presence is more effective than monitoring software.

There is more to it than that, though. Mistakes (or "mistakes") get caught before they get out of hand. It's far easier to avoid defensive conversations about how and why someone went to a particular site when you can just say "Hm, I don't think is this is a place for you" as soon as a child gets to an inappropriate place. You get a chance to actually make internet use more useful by directing your child(ren) to better, more useful pages.

There are some more fundamental and long term things you accomplish, as well. You, as an individual and part of a parenting team or parenting / mechanech team, can send some strong messages and teach some very valuable lessons when you take the time to keep an eye on what they do, and where they go on the 'net.

• The child really matters to you. That's why you are taking the time and trouble to be there, to monitor and teach her something. We say more than we know, sometimes, with what we choose to spend time and energy on. This is something that has long term effects, and not just when it comes to internet access. (Of course, this applies to anything that gives a child this message.)

• Being careful on the 'net is not just a slogan. See the above comment about time and energy. This is also a long term lesson that we need to teach our children. Let's face it, if a child doesn't have internet access outside of your control yet, it will happen, sooner or later. The more ingrained this lesson, the better.

• How to "self filter". It's a great opportunity to teach some critical skills. How do you avoid falling for phony "information"? How do you avoid going to inappropriate sites? How do you tell, even from the results page of the search page, which pages are ore likely to useful? Remember, even if you use a filter or other means to block objectionable content, there is still a good chance that something will come up that's not a very good thing. How do you choose a search engine and other web based tools? This is not a one time conversation, but an ongoing one. However, especially if you "walk the talk", by the time your child is on the net on her own, she'll hopefully know enough to help keep her safer.

So what's involved? Here are some Live Filtering Tips and Techniques. You should also look at (and implement as many as possible of the) Other Technical Tips.   After all, being careful is not just for thei children, and as responsible adults we have a real obligation to minimize our chances of making mistakes.